By Ruth Skilbeck
Astute readers of this blog will notice
that there has been a recent change in name again, and in the ‘tag line’ or, as
I prefer to see it, the tone row to
borrow a musical phrase.
Briefly we went back to The Skilbeck Scrolls, and now have moved
on again into The Daily Fugue. These
names contain clues, to a hidden story though I was not fully aware of
their double significance when I coined them.
This is part of a process with a deeper
meaning that is becoming increasingly apparent as I continue to write this record
and performative account of a research journey that operates in parallel worlds
and many levels. When it comes to history and family identity the past is
always within us literally as well as figuratively, even if we are not
consciously aware of that. So the research I have been doing, and continue to
do in my work, as a university lecturer and researcher in communications, media and cultural studies, is the vehicle
that drives along the surface of my life, publishing articles in journals and
giving conference papers, but what has happened more recently since my research
journey as an academic began, as some readers may have noticed is that another
level or narrative, a secret story, has begun to enter into the dialogue, in
this blog it did begin right at the start although I was not aware of it then.
In the second short blog post I wrote, that was about my mother and flight and
the crash-landing that ended with a happy ending. That was a metaphor whose
meaning is only beginning to become fully apparent to yours truly, the author,
now, with the new knowledge I am finding out about the hidden story.
For whilst I have been writing this blog,
as an experiment in writing online as it began, I have made numerous
discoveries, about my mother’s secret family history and her/my ‘true’
identity; and these are performativity hinted at and referred to in the
evolving texts I am writing in various modes of blog and creative arts cultural
research. This was not at the start an intentional narrative ploy on my part, it has
happened accidentally, by chance, and by serendipitous connections made in my
research online, and in my writing.
I will say no more in this blog post (as
the story of what I have found out about my mother’s birth family is too big to
tell here all at once). Suffice to say in this blog entry that the shift back to
the name the Skilbeck Scrolls (after my fatherline) a few days ago has given
way again to the Daily Fugue and that is a prompt to yours truly I have just
realized, from the other side of consciousness, to the hidden story in this
narrative. The name The Daily Fugue, itself, has hidden meanings that are only now
beginning to become apparent and will be revealed soon.
Meanwhile it is enough to say that this is
not an identity crisis but a breakthrough in process and the fluidity is
necessary, to not define or pin my self down quite yet. Taking flight into writing. More on this soon.
© Copyright 2012 Ruth
Skilbeck
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